Regrets
by BornInaBoom
Summary: Bella realised that she had been doomed, since that first day at school, maybe even before. How could she have been stupid enough to believe she would not die in those horrible circumstances? - one shot -


"Ouch! Papercut…"

When Bella realised what she's just said she glanced away from her finger and had a look at the people in the room. Like in the movies, she saw everything happening very clearly millisecond by millisecond.

At First everybody kept perfectly still, but then Edward yelled and pushed her away. She felt herself fly up, like a weightless pebble and land on the table holding all the glasses and plates for the party. She should have felt hurt and dizzy but this was a life or death situation so she couldn't. Instead she clearly saw Jasper pass by Edward and punch him in the gut, sending him in the wall that cracked on the impact. He was about to reach her but did not have time to grab her as Edward came back snarling at him. Something was tickling her so Bella looked at her arm, the flood was flowing out freely, and it was not a good sign. She glanced at Edward and Jasper, they were not fighting each other anymore. Nope, they were now looking at her, both with the same chilling expression, one that clearly made her understand that they were done fighting their urges, she was food, a very delicious one, and she was on the menu tonight.

By the time Bella understood that, her loss of blood and the impact with the table, as well as the alcohol emanation of the smashed ball of punch started to impact with her brains response. She looked at the Cullens as a whole, trying to get some help from someone, but Alice's face was Blank, like she usually is when going through a vision, and she saw that Carlisle was busy fighting with Esme, trying to unable her to come and have her piece of the cake as well. Emmett and Rosalie were nowhere to be seen, they must have ran away at the very first drop of blood. " _Who would have thought that they would be the ones to resist their urges?_ " thought Bella. Back to reality, she felt Edward grabbing her arm. After the fall she had, it felt like a gentle touch, but she didn't kid herself, it was not to help her up; it was merely the same ritual somebody would have before tasting the most delectable of the wine, enjoying the smell before tasting it. He started to lick the blood flowing out of her arm. Even knowing what was waiting for her, Bella could not suppress a shiver. It was an inadequate expression of the turmoil she felt; dread, fascination, lust, despair and doom. There was no hope indeed because at the same time Edward took her left arm, she felt Jasper taking the other one and bite her skin at the wrist level.

In her panic, with her brain working miles per hour, she realised that she had been doomed since that first day at school; and maybe even before that, when she decided to move to Folk. As from that day on, her fate was not hers to decide anymore. How could she have been stupid enough to believe she would not die in horrible circumstances? How could she have not seen that sooner or later, by staying all the time around the Cullens, she would end up being a vampire meal? Be it by the end of a rogue nomadic vampire coven or one of the Family members, she had been delusional to think it would have not happen this way or another.

And while she was thinking of all this and feeling her strength leave her slowly, due to the 2 vampires taking their sweet time draining her, she started to think of what would happen after she'd died. Her dad would be devastated. He barely recovered when her mother and she left him about 15 year ago; there was no chance he will ever recover from her death; especially if it was happening in his town, under his parental responsibility. Come to think of that, her mum as well will never be the same, even if she was not the most responsible mum on the planet, Bella knew that Renee loved her very deeply and she would always blame herself if anything were to ever happen to her daughter. And something was definitely happening to Bella, right now!

In a split second Bella made a decision, she made a pact with herself; she would not die tonight. Not in those circumstances. Furthermore, once she'd finds a way not to die, she would become a decent daughter and forever take into consideration her father's feeling, and start to spend more time with other people, friends and family, that did not want to eat her.

While she was promising this to herself, she felt her head getting heavier, and the rest of of body getting numb as the last of her strength was wasting away, and she still had not clue how to survive, so in despair she turned to the only person in the room that would be able to use reason at this point. Using the last bit of life strength she had, she managed to mumble in a sleepy low voice: "Carlisle, … don't let me die" and then she passed out.

* * *

First there was nothing.

Bella could not feel anything. She could not see anything. It was like she was trapped into a big nothingness, there was nowhere to go, she was nothing; it was like time itself had died.

Then the feelings came back, the feeling of herself first, she could feel her heart beat, she could feel her skin, she could sense the air around her, and she found out she was not standing like she thought she was but she was more in a sited position, feeling some kind of soft material under her backside. But she was still in the dark.

As soon as the thought about it, the light came; a big blazing ball of white light appeared from afar first. It was travelling fast and it reached her full speed, blinding her, swallowing her. She was now inside the light. It was nice and warm at first, but it became warmer and warmer, and it started burning her, she open her mouth to scream but no sound came out. She wanted to cry but no water could come out of her eyes. However the light took that opportunity to slip inside her, burning her inside out. Bella though she was going to lose her mind again, the pain was unbearable; she wondered why her skin hadn't melted yet, it was like being in the centre of a star, she had been nothing in the darkness earlier, and she felt every fibre of her being in the light. When her eyes became accustomed to the blinding light she saw what was happening; the light was moving. It was like the light was alive and trying to fit all of itself inside her, going through her mouth, her nose, her eyes, and every pore of her body. The light was pushing itself inside by any means necessary.

Knowing there was no point in fighting it, Bella embraced it, and started helping it, breathing the light in her lung and swallowing it, enduring the white hot burning pain, because she new that somehow it was a necessary process she had to go through, in order to get back. Back to who? she thought... and just like that she knew. she needed to get back to Charlie and Renee, and Billy and Jacobs, because they were the one that cared about her, the ones who would be destroyed if she was to disappear. And just like that, little bits by little bits, she took all the light within. When she breathed and swallowed one last time, the burning stopped, and Bella opened her eyes.

 _Don't forget you promise!_

* * *

She woke up in the Cullen mansion, sat in a long chair in the living room. Someone put a soft cover on her legs, it felt nice. Bella started to stir, she felt good, like after a long refreshing nap. Everything was silent. She looked around and she saw that no one was there. Strange, she thought, there usually was someone to be here for her every time she stayed before. Where was everybody?

She tried to get out of the chair but saw that she was connected to some monitor, recording her heart beat, and that she had a catheter on her vein. The bag of blood was empty now. She disconnected herself from all the cables, and stand up. What happened here? Everything was so foggy in her mind. She could not remember what happened for her to need all that medical stuff. But she felt great! What time could it be? She couldn't have sleep for more than an hour? She wanted to go home now.

For some unknown reason, she just felt like going home and preparing some nice earthy meal for Charlie and asking him all about his day, she wanted to know more about him and spend some quality time watching tv. She didn't know what to do. Could she just leave the house without seeing anyone? She decided to leave a note for the Cullen stating that she woke up and had to go home, and that she will see them Monday at school. When she wrote it down, she thought that anyway she would see Edward in her room tonight, but as soon as she thought about it, she felt uneasy. She didn't know if she wanted him to come after all.

"What is happening to me? "She thought. "Why wouldn't I want him to come?"

The truth is, she didn't know why, but she would feel relieved if he didn't show up at her window tonight or even tomorrow.

* * *

 _Here we go guy's. its just a little something I had in my head for a while. what do you think about it? Do you see where this is going? what do you understand happened to her? thank you for your feedback(s)._

 _Depending on the feed back I may or may not add another chapter to explain what happened to her._


End file.
